


Reluctant Heroes

by magickalmolly



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:38:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9239312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magickalmolly/pseuds/magickalmolly
Summary: Pippin had taken to crying every now and again; they both had, truth be told.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place SD 1422, shortly after Frodo and Bilbo sail away to the Grey Havens. 
> 
> Originally written August 20, 2003.

_Tuckborough, 1422_

Sitting in the old overstuffed armchair by the fireplace, Merry sipped absently at his tea as he stared out the window at the softly falling snow. The open book on his lap lay forgotten. His tea had grown cold while his mind had wandered off, and Merry set it aside with a slight frown; he hadn’t realized how long he had been holding the earthenware mug. As he reached across to the end table to put the mug down, Merry saw a flicker of movement behind him, causing him to pause.

“Oh. I didn’t know anyone was in here. Excuse me.” 

“Pip?” Setting his book aside as well, Merry turned more fully in his chair and looked to where Pippin stood in the shadowy hall. Pippin’s hair was tousled from sleep and he was dressed in only a linen nightshirt; the bottom just barely reaching his knees. He was almost too tall to fit in the doorway now, and Merry felt the corners of his mouth twitch up at the sight. But then Merry’s gaze rose from Pippin’s hemline to his face, and Merry was surprised to see that Pippin’s eyes were red and glistening with unshed tears.

Unhesitatingly, Merry opened his arms wide and whispered, “Here, sit on my lap, I'll rock you awhile.”

“I’m not a child, Merry.” Pippin replied thickly, but he crossed the room just the same, crawling into the chair with Merry and tucking his face into the crook of Merry’s neck.

Merry’s arms wrapped around Pippin snugly, and he made a soft sound of contentment. Pippin was solid and warm in his lap, and Merry gave him an affectionate squeeze.

“I never said you were, sweeting.” Placing gentle, random kisses into Pippin’s sleep-mussed curls, Merry let his body rock slowly, back and forth, back and forth, until he felt some of the tension drain from Pippin’s body.

“Now,” Merry murmured against Pippin’s hair. “Tell me what’s troubling you, my love.”

Pippin was quiet for a long time, and Merry though perhaps he had fallen asleep. It was rather late and the two of them had been busy all day. But then Pippin inhaled a small shuddering breath and promptly broke down into tears, his hand fisting the front of Merry’s robe as he cried.

“Oh, Pip. That’s right, you go ahead.” Merry crooned softly, and he had to blink his eyes to clear them from his own tears that appeared unbidden. The sound of Pippin’s quiet distressed sobs broke his heart. 

Pippin had taken to crying every now and again; they both had, truth be told; and Merry had learned there was nothing he could do about it except to hold Pippin and let him get it all out. He rubbed his hands up and down Pippin’s back in time to their rocking, and Merry whispered nonsensical endearments, letting the honeyed words fall from his mouth as he nuzzled the silky hair against his face. Pippin continued to weep softly.

Snuffling wetly and indulging in the warmth of Merry’s embrace, Pippin cried until he couldn’t any more. After a few minutes, he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his nightshirt, then pressed his flushed cheek back against Merry’s shoulder, feeling somewhat better for Merry’s sweet attentions. 

“Oi, your robe’s all wet now. ‘m sorry.” Merry only tsked his tongue dismissively and held Pippin closer, still slowly rocking the two of them. Merry said nothing; as much as he wanted to know what troubled Pippin, he knew Pippin would fill the silence when he was ready. 

It didn’t take long. Pippin kept his face tucked under Merry’s chin as he spoke, and his one hand idly stroked the soft woolen fabric of Merry’s robe. “I miss the way things use to be. Before.” Merry didn’t need to ask what Pippin meant by ‘before’. It was a term the two of them had adopted once they had returned to the Shire. ‘Before’ was their life before the quest to destroy the One Ring.

“I know what we did was important and right and everyone’s safe now because of it, but...” and Pippin’s voice grew wistful. “I miss our old lives. Sometimes I wish none of this had happened, and that we could have stayed right here and been happy. I never wanted to be a hero.”

Merry unconsciously brought his fingers up to touch at the scar above his eyebrow. His arm seemed to ache slightly in memory when he moved it and he sighed heavily. He’d been through more than any hobbit should have to go through. They all had, Pippin and Sam and Frodo. Especially Frodo. Reluctant heroes, every one. 

Almost as if he could read Merry’s thoughts, Pippin whispered in a teary voice, “I miss him.”

“I do too, love. We all do.” Merry didn’t try to stop his own weeping this time, the ache at not having Frodo in their lives anymore still too raw and fresh. Merry rested his cheek against the top of Pippin’s head and his tears silently slipped down his cheeks. He could feel that Pippin was crying again as well, and Merry instinctually began to rock once more, back and forth, back and forth. 

But this time he wasn’t sure whom he was trying to soothe.

~fin~


End file.
